The Joker Needs Pads
by heygurlheyyyy
Summary: The Joker desperately needs pads. Will he get one in time before he meets his boyfriend for a date?


**Dis.: Me no own the Joker. Hut-hut!**

**JOKERXPAD**

Pad was sitting on the isolated swings by herself as she watched the others at the playground prance around and have fun.

"Oh, it's not fair!" She sighed, taking her gaze off of the others as she looked down. "Nobody likes plain ol' pads anymore, everyone just _loves_ tampons!"

Pad turned her gaze toward the playground again, hoping that maybe a kinder tampon would notice her and ask her to play. No tampon looked at her.

Pad was ignored most of the time, ever since she and a few others were the only pads left in her whole town. She was probably the only pad left in her whole school! Even all of her teachers were tampons!

Pad let out another deep sigh, and tears began to form in her eyes, but she wiped them away with one of her padded arms. She looked to see if it would swell up from the water, but it didn't. The tear simply slid off.

"Not as absorbent as a tampon." Pad whispered sadly. She started crying silently, tears streaming down her white, puffy face.

She jumped in her seat as she heard a loud noise. The tampons at the playground started screaming and ran away as two gigantic feet started destroying the playground. Pad looked at the playground with her eyes widened and mouth agape. She was too afraid to scream; she just looked up at the massive figure that intruded on their territory.

"OH WHHYYYY???" Pad gasped as she heard the figure loudly cry out this statement. She walked toward the figure slowly and cautiously. It was clearer now what the figure was. She saw the chin of a man with a very pale face and light, green hair.

"Oh no! This cannot be!" The Joker was looking through his purse, in desperate need of something very important. "I need a tampon! Where could it be?" He looked deeper into his purse to see if he could find money for the tampon dispenser in the girls' bathroom, but he sadly could not. "I can't believe my period started today! Out of all the days!" He groaned as he looked at his pants, which were stained in blood around the crotch area. "Why did I have to have my period today?! I'm supposed to meet my boyfriend in half an hour!" He then kneeled to the ground and held angry fists to the sky. "WHYYYYYY???"

People passing by stared at him, then quickly walked away. The Joker still held his fists in the air with a frozen expression.

Pad, determined to help this poor soul, quickly ran up to the Joker and tapped him on the knee.

"E-excuse me? Sir?" Pad asked shyly, looking up at the Joker.

The Joker turned down and looked at Pad. "What the hell?" He put his arms down to his side and brought his face closer to the pad. "A talking pad?"

"Yes." Pad replied. She then put one hand on her hip and pointed to the Joker's gigantic face. "My name is Pad, and I'm here to help you!"

The Joker arched one of his eyebrows as Pad climbed onto his shoulder. He stood up and looked at her out of the corner of his eye. She wobbled a bit as he stood, but then regained her balanced and looked determined once more.

"I heard you. I know you're in desperate need of some feminine products! Now, I know that tampons are all the rage, and are supposed to be more absorbent and better than pads, but do you really have a choice?" She looked at him as he slightly turned his head to her and gazed down. Pad stared into his eyes as he did.

"No, I guess not." He blinked a couple of times, then she continued.

"Pads are just as good as tampons! With pads, you don't need to be nervous about sticking it in! Tampons can get stuck, and pads cannot!" Pad smiled as she thought about what she was saying, "And it saves you the embarrassment of going to the hospital!" She continued, "Now, I know you were probably looking forward to sticking something up in there but-"

The Joker laughed merrily, then patted Pad on the head (?). This almost crushed her.

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" The Joker replied, smiling. "You're a lifesaver!"

"There's a store right near here, we could buy you another pair of pants!" Pad said, she was also smiling.

"Wait a minute, doesn't that store also sell tampons?"

Pad shook her head furiously. "N-no, they ran out this morning! Just go into the bathroom!" She replied nervously, pointing to the girls' bathroom.

The Joker smiled again. "I'm going to use you all day until you smell like dead fish and are completely covered in blood!" The Joker laughed again, and so did Pad.

"Don't worry, sir, I'll protect you the best I can!" They were both smiling as they walked into the bathroom.

_I guess pads are needed after all._ Pad thought, letting out a satisfied sigh as she and the Joker entered the girls' bathroom. Today was going to be a good day.

**THE END!**


End file.
